WHAT THEATRE AND FOOTBALL HAVE DONE FOR ME.
For a freshman football player in Alden, there are expectations: Give your all and be there for your brothers. Never let anything bother you. Don’t be the weak link. Act like every football player depicted in any movie: tough.
My toughness was put to the test as a freshman in Alden who had just transferred from a small Catholic middle school. Though I had grown up as a dancer and performer, I decided that I wanted to play football for the first time in my life. This experience taught me that toughness isn’t just about physical strength; it’s about being true to yourself. It’s about not folding under pressure from others.
Being the new kid in the school and on the football team, I always felt I had to fit in. I would try to act like the other guys on the team and relate to things they would talk about. I would often find myself in a spot where the team would make fun of the school shows and musical that I performed in. I would often either joke with them or just ignore it. I would never stand up for my theater friends. As a freshman, I was really scared to admit I even had an interest in theater.
For a freshman actor, there are expectations too: Be super creative and free. Listen to your directors. Don’t care about what other people think of you.
That last thing was very hard for me. I did care what other people thought of me. I cared what my football friends would think when they saw me performing on the stage.
Just like on the football team, I tried to fit in and act like my theater friends. I would once again try to relate to things they would talk about or joke along with them. The number one judgment theater kids normally make is about the football players.
So, on top of the football players judging the theater kids I would have to deal with the theater kids judging the football players. And the same problem I had with the football guys would come up with the theater kids: Do I stick up for them, joke with them, or just say nothing at all? It felt like an endless cycle.
After weeks of going through this cycle I found myself questioning what I was doing. Do I keep putting myself through this? Do I quit? These questions ate me up.
One specific moment where I found myself questioning everything was during previews for my freshman year show Mary Poppins. I remember getting ready to go on and I had a nervous breakdown backstage. All I kept thinking about was what the football guys were going to think. I started breathing heavily. I remember my friend coming up to me before we started. She said, “Dylan, who cares what they think of you? If they can’t like you for who you are, they don’t deserve to be your friend.”
I really took in what she said and just thought about it: If they don’t like me for me then they aren’t my friend. The next thing I knew, I was on the stage, walking down the stairs of the set and hearing a few laughs and giggles from some of the football players. But it didn’t faze me. I don’t remember much from those 30 minutes of being on stage, but I remember walking off the stage and my friend turning around, hugging me, and saying how I was tougher and stronger than anyone she knew.
If I could go back and change anything, I wouldn’t. I loved being in both so much, I got other football players to join theater. Everything I went through made me into the man I am today. It made me strong and tough. But most importantly, it made me accept who I was.